Holistic Therapy at Ember Wellness

Holistic therapy is an in-depth method of therapy that incorporates each facet of a client’s lifestyle into the treatment plan in order to help each client reach and exceed their mental, physical and emotional goals. Holistic therapy is not more time consuming than other modalities of therapy, but it is more cohesive and may include diving into areas such as nutrition, sleep and lifestyle (hobbies or screen time). This type of therapy could be the answer for many who are feeling like they have been trying to move forward but are just stuck somewhere or those who feel like they are already doing what they can but it doesn't feel like it is enough. If you are still unsure about holistic therapy, read on to get a deeper understanding of what holistic therapy looks like at Ember Wellness.

What Does “Holistic Therapy” Actually Mean?

When you google “what is holistic therapy” most links state something like “therapy that is integrative and incorporates traditional and non-traditional modalities to help treat the individual as a whole.” This is a nice sentiment but I cannot help but think it does not explain what holistic therapy looks like in practice. I think if you start with a good thesis you can take out some lines like the one that just finished before this to be more concise. One could (and should) argue that every therapist and every type of therapy treats individuals as whole beings. Holistic is a buzz word at the moment and therefore many providers are including it in their description of services. In this post, I am going to break down what holistic therapy means to me and what holistic therapy looks like at Ember Wellness. 

The word holistic stems from the concept that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We are seeing more and more research coming out to demonstrate that we are more intertwined within ourselves than we ever could have previously imagined. Many cultures have paid more attention to the concept of holism than western medicine for centuries and most of the holistic trends you see popping up in western societies today are regurgitations of what many eastern and indigenous cultures have practiced for centuries. Most of you reading this are likely living in America and grew up in the system of western medicine. Western medicine is a marvel but has some serious gaps, such as believing that we are simply “a sum of our parts”. I can see how this way of looking at medicine could be enticing because it makes our health and wellness seem relatively easy to remain in control of and quick to fix. But the reality of the matter is that every part of our body and mind has push and pull on every other part of our body and mind. If we do not recognize these relationships, we are doing ourselves a disservice by making our path to wellness much more challenging. Too often, I speak to members of my community that feel so defeated and unheard by the health care system simply because they are seeing practitioners who look at each aspect of their life, or each symptom they are experiencing, as separate issues. At Ember Wellness we see clients as complete individuals and tailor our treatment accordingly. So let us get to the nitty gritty, What does it mean to get down to business with a holistic therapist?

How We Incorporate Wellness Into the Therapeutic Process

At Ember Wellness, holistic therapy is defined as a therapeutic process that takes into account the individual's mental health while considering the client's nutrition, sleep, physical activity and lifestyle. The reason I believe it to be important to consider all of these aspects of life is that without thought given to each area in turn, it becomes much more challenging for clients to feel and see improvement. It may sound daunting to embark on a journey focusing on all these aspects at once, but I see it as necessary because until we consider your life as a whole we will never be able to remove all the roadblocks necessary for you, the client, to reach your desired quality of life. When put into practice, these actions are often less time consuming or overwhelming as many assume. Examples could simply be helping clients find and remember what time of day they need to eat a snack or helping a client choose a physical movement practice that fits their lifestyle and schedule. 

Common Misconceptions About the Holistic Approach

One big misconception about the holistic approach in general is that you need loads of free time and resources to be able to see improvement. This is due largely to the fact that for a long time therapy and wellness in general (physical health, nutrition, sleep) really was only for the wealthiest individuals, and that stigma still persists today. I could go on and on about the gentrification of wellness practices in the US, but that is for another post. What I will say here is that many will read this and feel overwhelmed. Indeed there are memes on instagram with people jokingly saying “ok so you're telling me all I have to do is… drink water, eat enough but not too much and of the exact right food. Walk but also run and lift and stretch and throw out all my bathroom products with chemicals that start with a P and change my sleep habits…” No individual needs to feel as if they need to start their life from scratch and do every healthy habit that their algorithm is suggesting they do in order to improve their quality of life. Therapy at Ember Wellness is all about incorporating small, medium and sometimes large changes in your life that work with your schedule, goals and every day demands in order to allow you as the client to feel confident, comfortable and strong in your own body and mind. Your holistic therapist will help you define what health means in your life and will help you build a path to reach that point and maintain it or go beyond.

Therapy Tailored to You

What I love about being a holistic therapist is that anything you want to bring to session could be relevant to shaping your goals. You are not identical to any other human so why should your treatment be? At Ember Wellness you will receive holistic therapy that is tailored to you and will help you reach your goals from a rounded perspective. We build approachable treatment plans with our clients that consider each area of their lives they would like to see changes or shifts in and we aid and educate our clients through the process of growth with support throughout those areas. Holistic therapy is about removing roadblocks you didn’t even know were in your way to get you the best care possible and find the best way forward. Let us help you define your difference!

Boundaries with Compassion

Let’s talk about boundaries. So many of the individuals in my community express frustration or feelings of inadequacy when it comes to their personal boundaries. After having many conversations about this topic there is one belief that I hold strongly about our relationship with personal boundary setting: we need more compassion in our conversations about setting boundaries with ourselves. Existence is full of moments when we must set boundaries for ourselves and it is a favorite topic in the therapy room for many clients. Boundary setting will look different for different people but the gist is typically similar. We all try to impose structure on our relationships. Whether it be interpersonal relationships or ones with food, activity, thought patterns or hobbies. We all have things in our lives that we need to either restrict our access to, or nudge ourselves a little bit to increase our use of. What I find distasteful is the lack of compassion we have for ourselves when we set and attempt to uphold those boundaries.

Setting Compassionate Boundaries

Many of us have a few people in our lives who have amazing discipline. They can make a plan and stick to it 100%. However, for most of us, upholding boundaries looks like this: make a plan and decide to commit; have an off day and think “maybe I will start tomorrow”; two weeks go by and you hold strong but a great day seems to deserve celebration and a break from this commitment. You continue on this pattern of upholding your boundaries most of the time, but occasionally flowing in and out of the regimen. 

Now, before continuing on, take a moment to think about a commitment you have made for yourself recently that you did not follow to the letter. Try to recall what your thoughts towards yourself were in the moment that you acted in contrast with your commitment. Were you celebrating yourself for being flexible? Were you appreciating your ability to listen and attune to your body's needs at the moment? Were you able to sit in joy of your chosen action knowing that your goals are bigger than each individual step and each moment? If your thoughts were along those lines, then congratulations! You are a master of self respect and compassion!

Finding the Middle Ground

For those of you who remember your reactions trending more towards judgement or negativity, you are not alone, nor are you in the minority. For too long, health and wellness culture has taught us that boundary setting is all or nothing. Fad diets gave us the term “cheat meal” to allow us space for flexibility in our eating choices.” Who ever wants to think about something they are doing for their body as cheating!? Too often I speak with clients who speak as if all their progress has been derailed because they said they were not going to spend more time with that one friend and then they got together over the weekend. Another client might try to cut out screens for the last half hour before bed but end up falling asleep to a show on the couch. For most of us, this kind of degrading self-talk can be damaging to our quality of life. For those with anxiety, depression and low self-esteem this type of rhetoric can be the difference between choosing whether or not to get out of bed the next morning.

As a community that is focused on improving both human happiness as a whole and “an individual’s quality of life”, it is our responsibility to model compassion for ourselves in the realm of our everyday boundary setting. So, how do we do that? How do you become that unicorn who thinks to themselves: “I am flexible” and “I am comfortable with my choices today, or even the one who says “I am proud to adapt to my mental and physical needs as they arise.” As has been the topic of today's post, it’s not an all or nothing; it is a constant practice. All we can do is our best and that may look different each day. Reaching our goals often looks more like a long journey over rolling hills than a straight up climb, and there is research to show that all or nothing thinking can actually be less effective in building healthy relationships with our so-called “vices”. That flexibility is more impactful in creating long-lasting, positive habits and the motivation to try and try again.

The Way You Talk to Yourself Matters

So, in your day-to-day life this may look like you change the word “cheat meal” to “treat meal” because we all deserve treats in our lives. It could also look like you are staring at that text from that person you know is draining and thinking to yourself, “we spent time together last week and that makes me feel better about maintaining distance this week.” The focus here is ”creating a boundary we can hold most of the time, minimizing lapses while taking them in stride, and NOT LETTING THEM DERAIL YOUR DAY AND YOUR MOOD”. That only makes it harder to get back on the horse. 

Do not let yourself continue through your day-to-day existence beating yourself down for every action you take that is contrary to your goals. Take a moment to listen to how you are speaking to yourself and ask if you can reframe “I am so weak-willed” to “I am focusing on what I need in this moment”. Remember, progress is made by small steps in the right direction accompanied by patience and respect for yourself and your experience. Importantly, we must also note that if you keep setting goals or boundaries that you are consistently not fulfilling or going against, it may be beneficial for you to reconsider how you are creating those standards in your life. If you believe you may need help doing so, Ember Wellness is here to help you figure it out!

Why Does Your Therapist Ask How Often You Move Your Body?

The link between physical movement and emotional wellbeing is a charged topic for many. Unfortunately, it is also an area that we unknowingly invite our social media algorithms and common rhetoric into, which then loads misinformation onto us. In an effort to be brief I would like to state the facts: movement and mental health are linked. If you find the perfect fitness routine, will it play the role of a therapist for you? That is unlikely, but it is one cog in the wheel that must start turning for us to feel change. Physical movement is for your own overall health. That means the type of movement and the frequency of the movement is up to you. When I meet a new client I ask, “What are your favorite ways to move your body?” Let me tell you why those are the words I use.

What Counts as “Exercise”

Social media, chain gyms and fitness magazines would have you believing that the word exercise is reserved for “dripping in sweat, gasping for air, and moving big equipment”. When I ask individuals “Do you exercise?” I get lots of responses like “not much but sometimes I run” or “I try to follow some online workouts but I get distracted,” or I would be told “no” only to find out the client was actually going on walks 5x a week but didn’t know that walks count as exercise. Not only was I not getting the information that I needed to continue my assessment but again and again I heard feelings of guilt and embarrassment in the answers. Good therapists do not ask questions with the explicit goal of making clients feel bad, so with that in mind, I changed my question. 

Why does my therapist need to know if I exercise in the first place? At Ember Wellness, we offer holistic therapy. If you want more information on what that entails, I dive deeper into that subject in this post on holistic therapy. It is important for you and your therapist to understand how much physical movement (exercise) you are incorporating into your day. Physical movement can influence the following in large or small ways: mental health, sleep, metabolism, mood stability, and chronic pain (Ratey, J. J., & Hagerman, E. 2008). If your therapist does not know your physical activity level, the treatment plan they create with you will be incomplete and will not be ideal for helping you reach your goals.

How Movement Patterns & Behaviors Affect Your Quality of Live

Your therapeutic process is one that is unique to you and built in collaboration with your therapist to identify patterns and behaviors that are helpful to improving your quality of life as a unique individual. Yes, daily physical movement will be a part of most client's journeys. That being said, you do not need to build an entire fitness regime or designate one hour every day to a crushing work out. For some, walking for 20 minutes in the afternoon is their chosen movement. Other clients enjoy dancing in their living room for half an hour and still others may prefer to join an intramural sports team, or go to gentle yoga at a local park on Sundays. The key is to find something that you enjoy doing that gets you moving. There are no mandatory minimums. Small movements can still result in big change. 

The hardest part of exercise is getting started. Whether that start looks like putting on your sneakers and walking out the door, driving to the gym, or turning on the dance video in your home. Physical movement creates a positive feedback loop in our brain, leaving you wanting more. It is not a path of no resistance; it can cause discomfort. Though it may seem like a deterrent, this is actually a positive. At Ember Wellness we help clients learn to experience certain discomforts as a challenge accepted. Self esteem is built through esteemable acts, let movement be that act for you.

Why Physical Movement is Important to Wellness

If your therapist is having conversations with you about physical movement it is because she believes it will help you on the way to attaining your goals. There are so many reasons why daily movement is beneficial but lets only focus on the mental aspect. Regular physical movement, whether it be a walk in the park or a cross fit class, will very likely improve your mood (Ratey, J. J., & Hagerman, E. (Collaborator). (2008)). Depending on what form of movement you enjoy, it can bring a sense of community, self worth, pride and even passion. Regular movement also encourages our brain to be more flexible and create more neural pathways. Many common mood disorders such as depression and anxiety are often due in part to our brains using the same pathways over and over and having a hard time switching tracks. Movement helps our brains stay healthy and content and flexible. A flexible brain will have an easier time kickstarting into gear with those happy hormones. Moving each day creates a physical environment that promotes contentment, growth and flexibility - who doesn't want that!?

Exercise can be a very difficult topic. Pressures like time, capability, or looming discomfort can discourage many of us. Individuals can feel too busy, or not made for fitness, or they don’t like the idea of physical discomfort. To these clients I say “let's start small with something you think you will enjoy.” The very best way to get moving is to find an activity that you enjoy. At Ember Wellness, we can help you find your groove and move in a way that empowers you. We work with our clients from a place of understanding, with something that can be daunting in the beginning. Make your routine movements work for you in more ways than one. Reap the benefits of building a relationship with fitness that is fun and focused on self love and respect. We are ready to walk that road with you.

Ratey, J. J., & Hagerman, E. (Collaborator). (2008). Spark: The revolutionary new science of exercise and the brain. Little, Brown and Co.

Attia, P & Gifford, B. (Collaborator). (2023) Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity